Been a while

It's been a while, but I think I'll blog tonight. Usually, my blogs are a way for me to vent when I have no one to talk to because I think the best person to talk to is myself...no matter how arrogant and cocky that sounds it's true. I have nothing to complain about because my life is going almost perfect. I have a person who I can count on no matter what because she's just amazing. Jennifer, I am really lucky to have you because you're always so dedicated to this relationship even though I feel like I'm not. I know that I can always count on you and you make me so happy :] It's a shame that you're so far away from me, but it makes every moment we share even more special.
The only thing that's missing from my life are my old friends. I miss all of them..maybe because I haven't seen them in two and a half months. THAT'S INSANE, and totally unplanned. I planned on going home every 3 weeks, but this quarter has been too intense and busy. I miss BJK and everybody else including Chris, Jared, Grace, Sharon, and Mimi! =/ I'll see them soon this spring break though. FOR SUREEEE!
College is cool and all, but it isn't home. I sit here sometimes, when I take a break from work, and all I can think about are the old times I had in high school. They were the best times of my life because that was when all I had to worry about was high school shit. High School shit is nothing like college shit, holy shit. I had the best laughs of life in high school with the people I care about the most. I feel like I will go home a different person and everybody will acknowledge that and feel even more distant from me. That's my biggest fear in the world: to be rejected by the close people in my life. If I can't depend on them anymore, I have nothing else to go home to. My family and temple aren't enough for me to make the trip back home, even though i miss the all. My friends make up a big part of my life; I act how they act. We're all so similar it's amazing. For them to reject me means that they know I am different, in a bad way. But hopefully it won't end up that way. I try my best to keep in touch with people but, I realized that if we are close enough, I won't have to worry about that. Like with me and Jennifer's situation, even though I don't see my friends everyday, that means we all cherish our conversations and our moments even more. That eases my mind a bit, but not all the way. I still try to prove to my friends that I am always here for them whenever they need me, but I guess they've all grown up and become more independent :'[ my skills aren't needed anymore LOL jk. I got no skills. But yeah, minus this homesickness thing, my life ain't that bad. Got booked to Morongo this past lunar new year, and we made $$, just not me specifically HAHAH gambling sucks...but yeah. Maybe I'll keep updating this blog. Maybe.

Keep posted,
--nweezyf