Time of the Year Again

Everybody functions on cycles. One time of the year, they may be really happy and the other time they might be really depressed. I can say I've hit that low mark of the year. So many things are coming up in the next few weeks, even months, that I don't want to deal with. Let's start with the most superficial one, because that's what everyone wants to know about, right? Hahahaha I'm worried that I'm not going to have a date for prom. Everyone that I wanted to ask already has someone else in mind...so I don't know what to do. I want to go to prom and I'd want to go with a date, or else there would be no point in going. Also, I think I'm going to give up on the good life because the good life has someone else in mind already. I didn't want to admit it before, but it was made apparent to this week. I've lost my time and there's no way for me to get it back. Next on my list of depression is the problem I don't want to deal with. I need to deal with this person, but I don't want to. Call me a coward for running away from my problems, but the good life is making me deal with this. This is the only way to make amends with everything. I think I'm just going to be serious and firm with this problem. No extraneous talking, just answering all of the questions I am asked. That's all, I don't want to make up. I won't tell her what's on my mind though, cuz then all hell will be let loose. I can destroy people with the thoughts in my head...LOL my thoughts are so arrogant. I hope I don't come off as arrogant hahahaha...that'd be bad. Speaking of first impressions, I hope I'll enjoy college next year. I want to enjoy it the best I can, but I don't see how I will. I'm leaving everybody I know and going to a school that's really...to themselves. Speaking of college, I'm worried that I won't get enough money to get into the college I want to go to. Money makes the world go around and frankly, I don't have enough to get an education.


I guess I feel better letting it all out. I'm still kinda :[ though lol.
Keep posted.

-nweezyf

Manners and common sense

I seriously thought everyone was born with common sense because manners are taught. I know you have manners; all parents teach their kids some manners. I know you have common sense, cuz you're so similar to me and I'm pretty fucking logical (sorry to seem arrogant, it's just that I base all my actions on weighing decisions and probabilities and other stuff like that and to me, that is logic). So if I let you talk and listen to you without interrupting you and just being there for you, I would think you would do the same for me. I thought that our relationship is a two-way street, but I guess it's only when we agree. When we don't agree, you turn into something else and start arguing and close that two-way street into a dead end. In the end, I forget what I wanted to say, but all that anger and bitterness is still there. Normally, I'd look over this, but this has gone long enough. I'm a patient person, I look over many things. I'm forgiving and people don't realize that what I do, I do on purpose. By nature I am a paranoid person and I cover up all of my tracks, so I'm never doing anything without knowing its consequences. But when you start arguing my rants...that's going too far. How do you expect me to tell you anything when every time I try to, I get a full on debate with it? Like water, I'll take the path of least resistance LOL school nerd :P If every time I get a debate, I might as well shut up and suck it up and not say anything.

I guess this can go under "Things that annoy Kevin". For sure, this is one of them. I like blogging, it gives me a chance to talk to myself. Ahhhh, I thought I could never get mad at you...but you proved me wrong. FUCK ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I hate being angry. It's just a nasty negative feeling. I'll update later.


Keep posted
-nweezy