Selfless vs Selfish

So Tet is coming up and I'm pretty excited. Except for the fact that our dragon dancing group is a bit smaller this year, it's okay. We can take this as a learning opportunity and create a chance for us to adapt. Although this year we are smaller, we got booked to big places. We are dancing at the Morongo! How exciting! This year is going to be a big year for us, I can tell. I feel it, but I also feel bad because I have been skipping out on practice. What kind of role model can I be to the newbies if I keep ditching practice. I have a feeling that they don't like me very much. I'm not there often and I will yell at them if they mess up. Maybe I need to be nicer and try to encourage instead of telling them what they did wrong in a mean way. But they already have that kind of figure on the team, so maybe I should be the discipline. Well whatever it is, I know that this gig is going to be a lot of $$$.

Which brings me to my topic of the day. Chinese New Years, or Tet, is my only source of income for the whole year, besides the food money I get from my parents when I go out. My Tet money is the money I get to spend on my own. But 90% of all my Tet money goes to gifts and presents to my friends for their birthdays and Christmas. I barely get any for myself, but it's okay. All the things I want are totally superficial and is not worth my time. My friends' happiness is all that matters to me. I have a grip of close friends so I have to fulfill my duty and give them what they want. Whatever I want, I can find on sale because I am Vietnamese. Vietnamese people always find the best deals in the world and I am of no exception to that wonderful stereotype. Every time I go shopping with people, we always find the best deals on the most random pieces of fun.

But I would be lying if I said I didn't want more things. I feel bad if I don't give my friends gifts for their special day though. This is quite a dilemma for me: whose happiness do I put forth? Mine or my friends. I know the answer to that already. My friends. I don't think people understand how much love I have for other people. They think they know, but they really have no clue. If we were in a dangerous situation, I make sure I would take care of EVERYONE and if that means killing myself for their food, I'd do it. Maybe that's a bit too far LOL but that's the only way I can explain it. HAHAHA that's creepy.....

What's even more creepy is that I laugh to myself when I blog...

'Til next time
-nweezyf

Appreciation

If there's one thing I have to do, it's a shout out to all my friends that helped me and make me feel good no matter what.

Brandon: You're like my brother man. We've been through so much together from roaming the streets of Chinatown to just bummin' it around Torrance. There's nothing you wouldn't do for me and me for you. You're my battle buddy, my best buddy, a true buddy.

Mimi: Not enough words can describe how god you make me feel. You're always so positive around me and that influences me to be more positive. You try to help whenever you can and I appreciate that a lot. No one can replace you, not ever. bfffth,b <3

Jane: I feel you reject my love a lot, but I truly do love you Jane Park. I admire you and how you tackle your problems in life, whether it be school or your own personal life. You influence me and how I choose my actions. You're always entertaining to talk to because you have so much to say for such a little person. Like I said, you're organized, you're diligent, and you have your priorities all in order. You're one of the people I aspire to be like, Jane.

The Group: I can count on y'all to help me brighten my day. Each and every one of you are unique and special and bring something to the group that only makes us bond closer together. I'm grateful that I got to spend 4 years in high school with you guys. Without you guys, I wouldn't be the person I am today, whatever that means :P I love y'all.

These are just a few of the great friends I have. I'm afraid I can't write for you all because I don't have enough time, but I want you guys to know that I love you guys too and you aren't forgotten.

Happy New Years everyone!

keep checking

--nweezy

update

Things are going smoothly in life right now. All I gotta do right now is just fix up those things that I screwed up on. I think I need to show my friends how much I really care for them. Yeah, I think that's what I need to do to make my life that much better.


I'm over her. Been over. People been asking "Oh how do you feel about......." but to be honest, I don't care. Lol iono, it's just weird. All this time, I been wanting to get her attention but realized that it's just not worth it. I think I needed that third party intervention to get me off this path that I'm on. Honestly, I'm grateful for it. I can be carefree and do what I want to do. I'm not worrying and stressing over unnecessary things anymore, it's just me and my free mind.

A new personal goal for me: get stronger, get more cut, and find someone new. I know I said I wouldn't try, but I can look, can't I? :P This year, senior year, should be the year I cross everything off my to-do list. Getting things done and being efficient. That's what I want to do.

I'll update soon again. Keep posted.

--nweezy

nweezy talks

hey yo it's your boi nweezyfbaby niggaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
LOL
imagine if i really talked like that
hahahahaha i'd kill myself. i'm fine if i talk just a bit like that, but i really wouldn't like it if i talked like that ever single day 24/7.


hmm since this has been my 4th entry, i can say i'm off all that dark shit
i've realized that i'm gonna give up on girls. girls are retarded; they don't know what's good for them. they always wanna go for the guy that's unreachable when the guy (who's just as good) is in their faces. they're always chasing guys who'll screw them over and fuck up and treat them wrongly. whatever, this year's just gonna be all me and the homies. just me and my friends, i'm not gonna over-exert myself for someone who won't appreciate the effort. i'm good.


on another note, let's talk music
i really really really really really really really really love rap. like no joke, when i'm by myself, i turn on my mp3 player (I REALLY WANT AN ITOUCH) and put that thing on loud and just blast my rap music. i mean there are days when i feel mellow, so i listen to jack johnson, taylor swift, etc. nawmeen, but i like rap. like i can't imagine being crazy about rock, even though some of it ain't bad, but i can't. i need that heavy bass and the slick flow and the creative lines that makes my mind go WOW, this fool's nuts.. rock doesn't do that. also, there are my techno days, where i just want to head bang all day
LOL
but yeah, nawmeen if i didn't have my rap, i would be like -.- all day. fuuuuck i'm addicted.



but yeah, as i said before, my shit's like gold. it's worth a lot AND it's meaningful.
whoever reads this, keep posted because i'll update this sooner. ya digg?


-nweezyfbaby

Nuclear bomb on Nweezy

like the title says, a bomb dropped on me
dunno how bad the damage is, but from the looks of it, it's not so bad
i mean, i can still function and do my day-to-day needs
but fuck, there's still that part of me where it feels like i failed--miserably
like i tried my hardest, but my hardest wasn't good enough
also, i don't want to hold anyone back. if i am, i'm gonna have to change for that person, no matter how much i don't want to. it's crazy, but that's who i am. my friends first and me after. people can call me unselfish and a good person and all that nice shit, but i know who the fuck i am
i'm fucking kevin nguyen and those are just my morals and values. they're what i believe in and you don't have to congratulate me just because i have good morals. honestly, i'm kind of sick of being the nice guy, because they never get shit. and when i tried to do shit, i went too far and too fast and i end up getting nothing either. what i wish for now is to have everything go back to the way it was before the bomb. i wish i had never said anything because i knew it wouldn't have worked out in the end. but like everyone, i was a fool and i experimented. but i can't say that i didn't enjoy it. truth be told, i loved it. i loved every second of it. i loved every feeling of it, but i can do without the pain haha. i loved the thrill, the chase, the hunt, and the attack. it made me feel more alive than i ever had before, in my 17 years of living. so in all actuality, i'm pretty glad i took this chance. but it still pains me to think that i'm holding the one person i care about the most back. and in order for that person to advance as a human being, i have to change my feelings. i'm good with that, because in return i get my friend back. no mater how bad i want it, i don't think it's ever going to come. but now here comes the important question: what happens when i've finally moved on and i'm the one that gets chased. what'll i do then? will i go back to the way i was, or would i brush it off and look forward? i believe that everything happens for a reason, but a special part in my heart is reserved and will always be reserved for that person. i don't even know why i fell so hard, shit. i thought i knew, but thinking back it's really ridankulous. as of now, i'm fine but i'm constantly thinking about that night. i'm willing to do anything for that person, even if it means to shun that person from my life forever. but luckily i don't have to because we homies for life. no joke. i don't know why, but without going into relationships, i might be feeling love for this person. haha it's kinda far-fetched but no joke, it feels like that. if i think about it, i could imagine us together in 10 years, but i'll never admit it haha. all i'm curious now is that what's gonna happen


keep checking back because i'll keep you posted
even though my readers will probably be just me hahaha
it's just a good way to get shit off my chest because i can't find another person like me to talk to

-nweezyf

this seems popular

lol yeah this seems most popular now a days
whatever
this is kinda weird to do, writing things for people to read
but then again no one knows i have this
LOL
maybe except for jane but that's okay. no one knows how happy i am right now, not as happy as i could be but pretty dang happy.
my grades are finally going up so i can stop being the disappointment of the family. maybe if i work hard enough, i can get 4 A's and 2 B's. now that'd be tight as fuck. if only if only. but yeah there is still that one part that makes me :( when i'm by myself
if you're just randomly reading this, then you wouldn't know what i'm talking about. but for those people who do know, or are just good guessers, yeah that's what i'm talking about. it's kind of a bummer but who knows what'll happen as the year passes on
oh another thing for me to say:
i have many groups of friends, that i just realized lol
that's pretty tight, but also kinda hard to keep in touch with everyone. i mean i love it, don't get me wrong, but it's just hard balancing it out. for sure my homies will stay with me, and they'll behind me no matter what. nothing more i can ask for them. we share a lot of things, but some of us don't -.-.
it's okay though, there's always a reason for everything and i look on the good side of things. and then there's the girls who'll stay with me forever.
idk why, but these people and i just click. haha it's crazy because we have like non stop laughs everytime we're together so it's like WTF YOU BETTER STAY IN MY LIFE, y'know? hahaha
then there's the people i can talk to: you guys are there 4 life no matter wut
LOL that's pretty gay.
and then there's the people i can call just to hit up and have a good time.
hahahaha

yeah well there was no point in writing this blog. i just went everywhere but i had to say what was on my mind, even though i kind of got it off a bit before. it's pretty nuts, but this actually helps. a little bit though, because there's still going to be that little part of me that i'll never tell anyone. maybe you if you're lucky
but of course that's just the nweezy attitude lol
i'm done for the night
nweezy f baby.

hey yo
this is k.nweezy's blog
i'll barely use this
but whatever i have to say is like gold
so you guys better be checking if by some chance i do add something