No matter what I do, I can't do anything right. I always end up messing something up in one way or another and it irritates me because I don't like failing. I have the perfect girlfriend: she's so kind, sincere, loving, beautiful, smart, intelligent, funny, genuine, desiring, understandable, caring, just a damn good person and I can't be the person she deserves. Instead I'm a person who always makes her life miserable, stressful, and I just add unnecessary stress. I told myself that when I wanted to become her boyfriend, I wanted to be the type of person who will always make her happy because I feel like she deserves someone who treats her the way she should be treated. Instead, I can't do that. I fail. I don't mean to start fights, but I can't help it. If I prevent myself from doing one thing, something else slips and we fight. I hate fighting because it makes us both feel bad and I hate ending a conversation with both parties feeling bad. I don't want this relationship to end, but I can't seem to get my actions under control. I feel like if I don't get on my shit right, and keep it tight and on lock down, I will end up losing her and it will all be my fault. I don't even know how our fights start, and it seems be over something that can easily be talked out, but we both get frustrated and nothing good ever comes from that. I'm supposed to be the man, I have to take control of my actions and the situation. If I can't even communicate correctly with my significant other, how the hell am I supposed to succeed in anything in my life?? I just fail...
Keep posted,
--nweezy
